Saturday, January 29, 2011

Rollerblading and art.

So I decided to buy a costume I've always wanted: Simca from Air Gear.
Basically she's a bad ass. Rollerblades and starts shit and doesn't give a fuck.

This also means I have to learn how to roller blade too though. :{ I can do it if I believe~

Also, I drew my first piece of art since finding my tablet pen:

Fionna and Cake, the canon genderbent versions of Finn and Jake of the cartoon Adventure Time.

Too excited for my costume to get here.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011


I decided I will go! Screw everything else, I want to have fun!

I have a room to stay in already, plus my pass for the days. I've already asked for it off for work so I think I'll be good to go.

For my costumes, I will be taking my Hinata costume and maaaybe my Yui costume. I need to get contacts for Hinata, and I need to get proper shoes and remake the hairpiece for Yui.

For some NEW costumes, I am considering making Utenas duelist outfit from Revolutionary Girl Utena/Shoujo Kakumei Utena.

Utena has always been one of my favorite characters. I love her strength, wit, and charm. I've always wanted to cosplay her! I hope I can do her justice.

If there ever was an anime character I had to choose for a twin, it'd be Lucy Heartphilia from Fairy Tail. She loves books and writes herself, as I do. She also uses astrological signs for her 'fighters', and I love astrology. In love with being in love and her attitude in general is so like me it's crazy. I'm so excited to cosplay her.

Both these two characters I want to do absolutely perfect. I'm already looking into getting Utena's rapier commissioned, and I know a good seller for Lucy's set of keys. 

fffff so much money but it's all worth it.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

(2 years.)

Today marks two years ago when I accidentally forced my (now) boyfriend to ask me out. It was actually the first day I met him as well! So much has happened since then, we even both look completely different (him cutting his hair, me with my style). Unfortunately he is in Oregon taking his midterm right now and he can't get Dead Space 2. Haha. I will be going up to see him for Valentines weekend though. Very very excited for that( AND DOUGHNUTS).

I invented my own signature smoothie today at work too! Oh damn this is so good. It's peach juice, low calorie dairy base, strawberries and peaches. I call it Peachy Keen! It tastes like peach yogurt, the low cal base makes it nice and creamy. I'm so happy I finally have my own concoction. :3

I have creative writing class tonight. Debating on whether or not I should go visit my old creative writing teacher/mentor at my high school today. We'll see. Well I'm gonna go chill.


Saturday, January 22, 2011

Catching up on movies

So I finally watched Paranormal Activity and Toy Story 3.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of watching P.A. at 10 pm, which scared me so much even Cha Cha could not cheer me up. I eventually fell asleep, and decided to watch Toy Story 3, which made me bawl my eyes out. Two very different emotions in the time span of 12 hours.

The reason I got to watch these movies is because I got a free one month trial of netflix. I hope that my mom will continue to buy it for me, because I honestly don't want to pay for it. I mean, it's not like I normally spend a lot of money on other things, I just feel like if the whole family is enjoying it I shouldn't have to pay it all. As selfish as that seems, I don't really care.

I am disappointed in the lack of free things I can watch on demand. For a company that wants to steer people away from using the DVDs, they sure aren't giving much of a selection to watch online. :/

Oh well, free movies are free movies. I watched all 5 seasons of Weeds (season 6 wasn't available for instant watch ) plus those two movies and The Princess and The Frog.  Debating whether or not to watch Human Centipede. I'll let you know.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

I hate missing 11:11.


Anyways, hello again! I'm currently buying my amtrak ticket to visit my boyfriend in Oregon. He goes to Uni. of Oregon and his apartment is in the best location ever. Close to VOODOO DOUGHNUTS the coolest fuckin' doughnut shop you will ever go to. Take a look at the menu! I have been waiting for the day I get to go have one of their deliciously quirky doughnuts for about a year now since I first heard of it through a friend. Not only that but I get my Ho-Oh back from him that he hijacked so long ago. I'm just most excited to see him. We were already long distance to begin with but we could still see each other once a week, now we have to wait weeks/months.

I also got my debit card rejected for the first time. It just recently put on a bunch of charges I already thought it had. It was really embarrassing, but at least it was at work where I am loved and adored. ;-;

I need to find a tripod, or even a good place to take pictures of my outfits. I miss taking them. I figure I've starved for long enough. Time for toast.


Back to School

I just had my first classes of the new semester yesterday. I'm taking Performance for Cameras, Intermediate Math, Intro. To Govt. and Politics, and Creative Writing.

I had my acting and math classes yesterday. I'm really nervous for my math class, just because math has never been my strength, plus the class seems so demanding. But I will push through it as hard as I can. My acting class is cool. There's a lot of strong personalities in there but that's obviously because of the competitive nature of the game. I hope I don't get annoyed with anyone.

For picking out my classes late I got a pretty sweet schedule. I have only three days of class, Monday three classes (acting, math and politicalsci.) Tuesday is Creative Writing, and Wednesday is Math and acting again. My earliest class doesn't even start until 11. Yup, I think I can do this.

I really have to decide on a major though. I wish I had someone to help guide me. Lol, perhaps a guidance counselor?

Hope you have a good day!


Saturday, January 15, 2011

Review: Clinique Chubby Stick Moisturizing Lip Colour Balm

Damn that's a mouthful.

So I saw this ad in Seventeen magazine for for their new moisturizing lip color, and I wanted to try it out. I originally wanted to get the Woppin' Watermelon cause I wanted all the boys to have crushes but it was already out of stock. :{
I ordered the Chunky Cherry instead from their website, along with a few other things I won't review.

Here are some pictures:

My lips before, sorry for the herp derp faces, but it wouldn't pick up the actual color of my lips when I smiled.

This is the package it came in:
Here's the actual stick:

Looks just like the ad!

In action!:

It feels very nice going on, just like a balm should. I put it on this morning for work, and it was gone after 8.5 hours, but I tried to lick it all off and the color dulled a bit but stayed still pretty well. However when I wiped it off with toilet paper, it came off pretty easy. But it doesn't leave any weird coloring around the lips, or on the lips.

It is very lightweight, and soft. It took about, 3 coats on the bottom lip, and detailing it in on the top lip to make it that color above. It really depends on how you like it, as it looks good as a sheer one coat as well.

However, the first time I tried it on, my lips were really dry, and it showed the cracking a bit, so I suggest not trying to use it as a fix for cracked lips.

So far I'm really satisfied with it. :)
Let me know if you decide to get one!


Friday, January 14, 2011


It's always the hardest thing to say.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Why won't you just

say it?:

So a very good friend of mine wrote/stole from Reddit this and it is not only hilarious (and really crude!) but ridiculously true
Context: Someone was talking about a girl who said that he'd be her friend no matter what, and they took it as being friendzoned.

Oh how adorable. It's a confused little boy in its natural habitat.


You are the product of generation upon generation of men who built empires with their bare hands and killed shit like sabertoothed tigers and wooly mammoths with rocks tied to sticks. Don't be afraid to tell a girl that you want more from her.

Boo fucking hoo. She might not want that. If you don't change this fucking shit, you'll be back here in 10 years complaining about how the girl at the office might or might not like you and help what do you do if you ask her out what will happen when she comes back and see your huge collection of power ranger toys.

Now, I'm not a doctor but I'm prescribing you 500mgs of be a fucking man. Tell the bitch you want to go on a date. If you're rejected, look that bird dead in the eye and say to her, "My ancestors ate moose with their fists," then turn your ass around and walk away. Don't sulk, you're going to walk about like this happy son of a bitch. You better fucking ooze testosterone on the ground and declare yourself a catch, because if you don't I'll follow you around from comment to comment posting crudely drawn pictures of you in a tutu having your sissy baby legs broken by a monster made of the dicks that are gonna fuck the girl your too chicken shit to ask out."
-My Hero 
I hate when people just give up, or whine and pine over their romantic interest without doing anything about it. How do you expect anything to happen if you don't try and let them know you like them! Way to fail peers.

He has a blog right here:  ♥♥♥


Monday, January 10, 2011

I hate books

and yet I love them:

Books are like different portals for me. Every one I read I tried to get sucked into. To feel the emotions of the narrators, to believe the setting.They are fantasies for when my imagination runs dry. They are places to be when I don't want to be here.

I just finished Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. I cried, and I want to cry more. I won't spoil it for my zero readers but the premise is so real for me. This is going to sound like the dumbest thing ever, but I always identified my boyfriend as a wolf, if I had to somehow shallowly place in in the category vs vamps. So whenever I read this book, I thought of us. How hard it is to be apart from the one you love. Not really ever knowing whats going on, if they're okay. Distanced.

It breaks my heart each and every day to be apart from him. To have someone so imperfectly wonderful and someone who when you first saw and met them you felt a gear click in your head. Everything was in place.  Even through the fights and misunderstandings, I love him. More than anyone I could ever think of. I could only love my own children as much. But there's also another kind of distance between us. He's not sure if he wants the same. The fact the distance could be broken because there would be no more us. Only him and only I. How is it so that the one you love so much, and the love is so rational and pure, that there just isn't the same feeling. No matter what I say or do he just doesn't feel the same. Not to say that he isn't a good boyfriend, or that he doesn't love him. I just wish I could close the gaps. I hate this so much. I just want to see him, and hold his hand, and smell him in the room. I want to listen to him play guitar, and watch him play video games, and cook for him, and yell at him, and nuzzle into his neck. I just want to stop being apart, on both levels.

I don't know what else I can say.


Sunday, January 9, 2011

happy days are

here again:

So my yesterday was completely horrible. With a little retail therapy though and making some new resolutions, I am already feeling a lot better.

School starts next wednesday but IT WONT LET ME ADD MORE CLASSES TO MY SCHEDULE. It says I have the max number of hours but I'm only taking ONE CLASS, for ONE DAY. :|
Jesus. I guess I'll just have to schedule a counseling appointment but when I tried online they were all for February. I can't wait that long! Hopefully everything goes well though.

I bought over $100 worth of things today hahaha...
I bought some skin care things and a lip pencil, and I also bought a 4 new books! Paper Towns and Looking For Alaska by John Green, Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Leviathon, and Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins. I need some new books and I loooove John Green (and his brother Hanks's) vlog on youtube. I've been reading Shiver by Maggie Steifvater. If i had to describe it, it would be if Twilight was only about wolves, no vampires. It's a nice read, I get into books easily and I literally got lost in this book a few times. The male lead is a bit sue if you ask me though, OH WEREWOLF? OH GENTLEMAN? OH COMPOSES SONGS EASILY? If he didn't make up song lyrics through out the book it would be perfect. I'm almost done with it so hopefully I'll be done by the time my new books arrive.

I have started to make myself like tea as well! I've always thought it was really bitter, but if I add some milk and sugar it tastes so good! I've been drinking orange chamomile tea now. It's so smooth and makes me full after a nice big mug. I've already made myself like jalapenos/spicy food in general, so I know I can do it! Actually, my friend took me out to an awesome barbeque place in Fairfield. It was spicy but soooo good! I hope to hang out with him a lot more, he's a pretty chill dude. I will also hopefully be going back down to UCSC soon, and going to Oregon to stay with my boyfriend for a while.

Also back on track to lose weight. I weigh about 145-155 (different scales, don't know which to trust) and I want to get down to at least 120. I think i ca do it! Just a lot of lifestyle changes that are over due in needing to be done.

Also saving up for a place of my own, making new friends and hanging out with old ones. 2011 will be sweet.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

brushem (x3)

Ah, the dentist:

Always an adventure. In my mouth.
I have sensitive gums already, so scraping them is a nightmare for me. I also have tmj, and my jaw feels unhinged/crooked PLUS I grind and clench when I am stressed, so right now my jaw is always achey. No cavities though, and everything is basically as normal as it could be.

I'm going to stay with my friend for a few days just to get out of the house. I feel like melting into the carpet forever, this place isn't a good environment for me. If this were a perfect world, my boyfriend would let me stay with him at his apartment in Oregon, but this is not a perfect world. Although if i were to go, I would lose basically, everything. All my friends, plus my coworkers. My job is my paradise. I would not choose another first job to have. Everyone I work with is so nice and chill, especially my bosses. I'm not even saying this becasue I'm legally obligated to, but I really, really love my job. :{
There is a jamba juice close to where my boyfriend lives, but they would have to accept me transferring there. If they don't, I'm kinda screwed. Another thing is that I'm probably going to have to quit school to work and raise money enough for both of us to live. I mean, he has his housing and everything covered for the ROTC, but we don't know if that would also include me. Ugh. I wish I could just live in a nice environment and not have to feel like I'm going crazier each and every day with nothing to save me.

PS. I'm trying to post more. :{